For many women in leadership, there’s an unspoken pressure to overperform just to prove we belong. Maybe you’ve felt it—the need to work twice as hard, say yes to everything, or produce flawless results just to be seen as credible. It’s exhausting.
But here’s the truth: Leadership isn’t about doing more. It’s about creating impact.
And another truth: Women in leadership tend to score higher on leadership competencies like taking initiative, resilience, and driving results, often adopting a more transformational leadership style.
When we shift from overperformance to intentional leadership, we gain confidence, clarity, and—most importantly—the ability to lead sustainably. Here are five research-backed strategies straight from psychology to inspire you to let go of the need to prove yourself and start leading from a place of strength and authenticity—your own!
Focus on Impact, Not Perfection
The goal-setting research of Locke & Latham (2002) shows that leaders perform best when they focus on clear, meaningful goals—not overwork. Yet, high-achieving women often fall into the trap of doing more instead of doing what matters most.
Strategies:
- Define what success looks like before diving into a task.
- Differentiate between mission-critical work vs. perfectionist tendencies—not everything needs to be a masterpiece.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself and your team.
Separate Your Self-Worth from Your Workload
Self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan, 1985) tells us that people thrive when their motivation is based on purpose and autonomy—not external approval. But when you feel pressure to prove yourself, it’s easy to tie your value to how much you accomplish.
Strategies:
- Ask yourself: Am I working toward my purpose, or just checking other people’s boxes?
- Reframe your mindset from “I need to prove myself” → “I add value by leading effectively.”
- Measure success based on progress, impact, and learning, not just sheer effort.
Own Your Achievements (Without Overcompensating)
Research (Exley & Kessler, 2019) shows that women tend to downplay their accomplishments, often fearing they’ll seem arrogant. But let’s be clear: Visibility isn’t vanity—it’s leadership.
Strategies:
- Track your wins. Keep a simple list of key achievements, challenges overcome, and measurable results.
- Reframe self-promotion. Instead of thinking, “I don’t want to brag,” try: “I’m advocating for the value I bring.”
- Practice confident communication. Share your impact with facts, clarity, and without apology.
Say “No” and Check the Illegitimate Guilt
According to Amy Edmondson’s research on psychological safety (1999), the best leaders foster environments where people can set boundaries without fear of judgment. But women in leadership are often expected to take on more, accommodate everyone, and never drop the ball—even when it’s unsustainable.
Strategies:
- Say no with confidence: “I’d love to help, but I need to stay focused on my current priorities. Let’s find another solution.”
- Model boundary-setting for your team. When leaders set healthy limits, they give others permission to do the same. This is culture transformation!
- Reframe “no” as a strategic decision.
Lead Authentically, Not Flawlessly
Brené Brown’s research (2018) shows that leaders who embrace authenticity, not perfection, build stronger teams. Perfectionism can lead to overwork, stress, and disconnection, while vulnerability fosters trust and influence.
Strategies:
- Focus on leading with clarity of your own purpose, not proving yourself through overwork.
- When you make a mistake, own it, learn from it, and move forward—without spiraling into self-doubt.
- Remember: People follow real, relatable leaders—not those trying (impossibly) to appear perfect.
Final Thoughts
The glass ceiling is real, and so is the pressure to overperform. If you’ve ever felt like you need to work harder just to prove yourself, you’re not alone.
But real leadership isn’t about proving—it’s about leading with impact. Your circle of influence sees all that you are doing—lead for them, not for external validation.
