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The Shared Work of Engagement: What Leaders Control- and What They Don’t

A Male CEO writing down what he can and can't control based on Dr. Natalie Pickering's book Leading Becomes You

Every leader I know, whether in a five-person business or a 400,000 multi-site employee system, feels the pressure to “drive engagement.”

In a small business, that pressure feels personal—every person matters, every attitude shapes the atmosphere.
In a large organization, it comes from dashboards, survey scores, and top-down goals.

It’s a noble goal, an important goal—and often a flawed one.

The hidden assumption about work engagement is that it’s something leaders can make happen. But that’s only half true.

The Engagement Equation

Engagement isn’t a program or a pep talk. It’s an emotional and psychological state of energy that comes when people feel three things:

  1. Clarity – I know what’s expected and why it matters.
  2. Connection – I feel seen and valued by my team and leaders.
  3. Control – I have a voice and some influence over how I do my work.

Leaders can’t inject those feelings into others. Employees have responsiblity for their own engagement too. But leaders are responsible to create the conditions that make them possible.

That’s where the real work lives. Leaders create the environment; employees bring the mindset and energy.
When either side pulls away, engagement collapses.

Why the Balance Matters

Some leaders over-own engagement.
They take responsibility for every mood, every bit of motivation, every pulse check and feedback report. They carry the emotional weight of the team until they burn out. In Leading Becomes You, this reflects the Wasteland leadership terrain. This overfunctioning by the leader, rescuing rather than equipping eventually becomes resentment of the very people they’re trying to support.

Other leaders under-own employee engagement.
They tell themselves, “It’s not my job to keep people happy,” or “That’s their personal issue.” Their teams pick up on that distance and ironic disengagement and withdraw too. Disengaged leaders cannot build healthy work, employee, or change engagement. In Leading Becomes You, this approach is the result of the Petrified Forest or the Swamp.

The truth, as usual, lives in the tension between. Engagement is shared work. Leaders shape the climate; employees decide how much of themselves to bring to it.

Engagement Control: Yours? Mine? Ours?

When I coach leaders under heavy pressure, I often ask: “What’s in your control? What’s in your influence? What’s outside both?” Factors that are beyond the control of most leaders in an organization are budget ceilings, corporate policy, the hiring market. Leaders also can’t control an employee’s change tolerance, stress tolerance, mindset, or willingness to take stretch projects.

But there are engagement drivers within a leader’s control, particularly centered on a leader’s “How” and fundamentally connected to both leader identity and the inextricably connected authentic relationships.

Some examples are:

  • How the leader communicates change (clear, calm, consistent)
  • How the leader recognizes effort and progress
  • How the leader listens and include others in decisions
  • How the leader manages their own energy and reactions

Engagement for Any Sized Organization

Here are a few strategy reminders whether you’re leading a team of three or three hundred thousand.

The 3 W’s

Start small. Try this in your next meeting, huddle, or update. Answer these three questions out loud:

  1. What’s Changing? (Name the reality.)
  2. What’s Staying the Same? (Anchor stability.)
  3. Why It Matters. (Connect to purpose and impact.)

It takes 90 seconds and communicates clarity, control, and connection in one move. Do it every week, and you’ll see anxiety drop and ownership rise. It helps you stay focused too.

Navigating Pressure from Above

Every leader working in a layered organization knows this feeling when you’re asked to “fix engagement” while juggling resource cuts, staff shortages, and shifting priorities. You can’t always control the storm—but you can control the climate.

  • Advocate up: Share realities and solutions, not just problems.
  • Buffer down: Translate organizational messages with empathy, not frustration.
  • Stay centered: Model steadiness; be the calmest person in the room.
  • Reconnect purpose: In every hard moment, link back to why we do the work.
  • Know your team: You need to know what each person considers their contribution to the team and the work.

People can handle hard truths if they trust your honesty and consistency.

“Leaders don’t manufacture engagement—they cultivate the soil where it can grow.”

Engagement is much more than a score to chase. It’s a climate to create.

It’s a shared responsibility for employees too. But your own apprach to engagement, like any other leadership performance indicator is an extension of your leader identity. The same applies to every person at every level of the organization considering their own influence.

Both.

And.

Together.

Dr. Natalie Pickering is an organizational psychologist, coach, TEDx speaker, and author of Leading Becomes You: A Real-World Framework for Leading from the Inside Out. She helps leaders and teams reclaim identity as their greatest asset.

image credit: StockSnap via Pixabay

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